Most of the time my days with Morgan are great. We play and have fun and I get to help her learn new things. Then there are days like today where you'd think that grouchy mood that she woke up with will pass in a couple of hours and then it ends up lasting the whole day. I just feel overwhelmed and unqualified as mother because I am not as patient with her as I see other moms are with their kids.
So, today I felt like a total failure as a mom. First I lost my temper a little when Morgan decided she wanted to push the shopping cart at the store and was continuing to push it into the shelf while knocking all the price tags off the racks. I tried putting them back on but I couldn't get them to go back on.
Later we went to the grocery store where she decided, after seeing the CAR shopping cart, to switch carts. Then after getting the car shopping cart she wouldn't sit inside because she wanted to sit on top. (Anyone who has driven those carts knows how hard they are to move and turn). Threatening time out only worked for a moment as she would go inside and then when I wasn't looking sit on top again. So while telling her that she needs to sit inside the cart or she might fall and get an "owie" I accidentally run into a pole that I was trying to maneuver around causing her to fall on the ground hitting her head. Three people gasped in horror but it felt like the whole store stared as I sent my daughter flying to the floor.
I get home and while making dinner I drop a bottle of worchestershire sauce and it breaks and spills everywhere so I just started bawling. Luckily Mike was there to give me a hug.
Some days are just hard and sometimes I feel like am the only one. I wish I was the perfect mom or the perfect person but I'm not. I love Morgan with all my heart and I am so grateful that I am her mom. I wouldn't trade being her mom for anything. So I guess life is teaching me patience and I think it may just take a lifetime to master it.
5 comments:
Oh Nicole I have soo many days like that. Don't be so hard on yourself! Living in student housing or what seems like student housing makes it easy to compare yourself to others around, but I promise you they have their hard days too! I am one of those moms that struggle with patience and have to pray for it all the time. Just start a fresh new day the next day and let yesterday pass. Sometimes I feel like that is the best medicine!
I am sorry Nicole but I couldn't stop laughing the entire time. 1- Because seriously i feel like EVERYday is like that for me especially if I am at the grocery store!
2- I can just picture Morgan (mischievous two year old) watching your every move so that when you are not looking she moves at lightning speed to disobey.
Threatening time out never works for me either.
Thanks for this post and letting ME know I am not alone. Love and miss you guys!
Nicole...you are an awesome mom! Don't be so hard on yourself. Morgan is very lucky to have you!!! You are a great example for me. I just wish we lived closer together so we could do play dates with the kids. Maybe someday.
Nicole! Some how I have missed seeing your blog lately! But I just read this post and am totally understanding everything that you described! Even the worchestershire sauce! I spilled a whole bottle and it stunk up our house for a long time. Ohhh the memories. But for the record, you are not a bad mom. Bad days come and go ... I'm currently trying to put more emphasis into the good days so I can remember them better. For some reason it's a lot easier for me to remember the hard days, and that just gets me discouraged. So here's to remembering the good ones!
You are not alone! I've had lots of those days. :) And I'm so glad that your Mike was there to give you a hug when you cried. That's what my Mike does for me too! Makes all the difference when you have someone there to back you up and support you during those hard days!
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